Thursday, April 26, 2012

hello spring break

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At the end of winter I have become accustom to the dreary grey days and the stark look of the land.  Then one day the light starts to come through the windows at an angle that illuminates part of the house that had previously been in darkness.  The kitchen cabinets glow with the warmth of the promise of the renewal of nature.  The first flowers suddenly appear in the cold ground and like taking my first breath, I feel alive again.  I feel comfort in the knowing.  Then somewhere in between the cooking of dinner and the hustle of readying little elves for school, the grass is green and the bees are buzzing, claiming the pollen from bloom to bloom.


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Sunday, April 22, 2012

a day in the life (with an old lady thrown in the mix for good measure)

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I had been working tirelessly cleaning a house that was badly in need of cleaning and every time I turned around, the Un-makers (AKA: 3 year old twins) had undone something I had just put in place. Finally I fed their bellies and decided it was time to go outside. I was thinking that surely they would have fun outside and in the process, I wouldn’t mind the Un-making.

I took them outside expecting them to swing and run and kick the ball. I expected them to play with the fairy houses and jump on the trampoline. I expected that I would be able to continue the unending work that has been the clearing of the enormous and magnificent tree we lost in the fall. I got the garden tools out and started piling sawdust and shavings from the chainsaws into the wheelbarrow. I had already taken at least 12 loads to the woods in the past weeks. When I started to rake and clear until I could see earth again, my tools were stolen. Every time I put one tool down, an Un-maker would come and sneak it away and rake shavings back into the garden. Another Un-maker found the old charcoal from the last campfire and started putting new ideas of Un-making into the other one’s head. All this time, there was screaming and whining. There were complaints about who’s stick was who’s and which tool was too heavy. There were screams every time a bug buzzed in sight or sound (which happens to be about every 10 seconds), followed by panicked running and flailing, including the loss of tools and sticks flying through the air hap-hazard. I was loosing my patience!

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I sent them to the trampoline, tired of their constant bickering and screaming. As I wheeled another load of shavings to the woods, I saw an elderly woman parked in my neighbor’s driveway eyeing the scene. I shushed the girls and tried to let them know that they were alarming the entire neighborhood.

As I continued the raking and piling and moving of shavings, the girls would not stop their screams! I walked over to the trampoline, my face stern, “Stop all that yelling. What is the matter?” “A sca-wy bug! It’s going to eat my blood!” “That? That’s just a pretty little lacewing. He won’t do anything to you. He just is resting.” Screaming and crying in bursts continue as I walk away. Finally, unable to bear it any longer, I walk over and say, “Just go back inside,” as I grab them off of the tramp one at a time and scoot them toward the house.

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I rake and pile and I can hear banging in the house.  I try to ignore it. Knocking on the window grabs my attention and I can see them in the mudroom getting into the bags on the hooks. I try to ignore them. On my next trip back from the woods, I spot the elderly woman and she’s walking toward me. I drop the handles of the wheelbarrow as she says, “Hello!” and walk over to greet her. She introduces herself and tells me that she will be at my neighbor’s to work in the garden. I exchange pleasantries about the garden and she tells me that she has a background in gymnastics, eyeing the trampoline. “Oh,” I say, “would you like to jump?”

As she speaks, I am noticing her petite frame and her gray hair pulled loosely into a simple ponytail. Her eyes full of wisdom and something that I can’t put my finger on. Contempt for the way I’m being overly friendly? Curiosity? Energy? She’s been telling me that my rules I have set for the trampoline are not adequate. She has been informing me that she is willing to help teach the kids tricks and that if they won’t be happy about the new rules that they can come out one at a time and the kids inside can watch the one who is having a turn on the trampoline, among other advice and tidbits about enforcing the policies she has prescribed.

I smile and change the subject and tell her that the twins were screaming on the trampoline because they were scared of the bugs. She says, “What bugs?” To which I laugh and say, “Exactly,” with a little knowing tilt of the head. I tell her about the “sca-wy bad dweams” they have been plagued with, keeping the whole house up all night with screams and crying. I told her how at 2:00 AM I had to turn the light on and show my child each layer of her bed so she would be satisfied that there wasn’t a wasp in her bed waiting to sting her. The woman tells me about an incident in her childhood with mice in her bedroom. I tell her about last week when the cat caught a bat and brought it upstairs to the older girls’ room and it was still alive. “Well, that’s what it is!” She qualifies herself by telling me she used to be a teacher and that the bat incident triggered the night horrors and that what I need to do is go to the library and find a book about bats that is sweet and help the girls overcome their new fear. (I didn’t bother telling her that the twins didn’t ever see the bat.)

After watching her show me several tricks on the trampoline—seat-drop, swivel, seat-drop; back-drop, swivel, back-drop—and listen to her explain what games I can teach them that will help with various forms of development, (though she’s aware that I grew up with a trampoline and can do all kinds of tricks that we had previously gone through one at a time and name by name) I realize that the house has been very quiet. I also realize that this woman is driving me crazy.

“I need to go check on the girls,” I say, excusing myself.

Inside I find the work of the Un-makers. My purse has been emptied, all gum opened and wrappers littered on the floor. My wallet turned out and emptied. My emergency tampon has been opened and is lying in the middle of the floor and the band-aids have been opened and one is stuck on the floor underneath the table. I listen and hear nothing. I call to them and hear quick footfalls upstairs. I go up and find them hiding their faces on a bed with their bums in the air. They had found leftover Easter candy and had been eating as fast as they could. I heave a big sigh as I collect as many Robins’ Eggs as I see on the bed and floor and walk out shaking my head. I come downstairs to put things back together and hear them giggling and jumping on the bed, high on sugar. 

trampoline safety

The next day I enjoyed, more than usual, the boyish games being played on my trampoline.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

studio news

In progress...
in progress

I have had my work hanging in the WISHstudio in Newburyport, MA. The perfectly quaint New England-y town of Newburyport will have their first Artwalk of the year on the weekend of April 21 & 22. At the WishStudio, there will be an Artisan Trunk Show on Saturday, the 21st. Click here to get more information on the fun and festivities.


Also on the evening of Friday, April 27th, I will be at the WishStudio for an artist reception. Click here for details! I would love for you to come by and say hello.

My take
in progress

Lastly, one of my favorite local artists, Rose Bryant is hosting her annual Art on Union Street and she has asked me to show a piece of art there on Mother’s Day weekend. Click here for the details.



It is mind boggling to me that I actually have studio news. I have been placing one foot in front of the other for so long, trying to do the best I can to survive the frantic pace of the life of a mother of 5 (with 3-year-old twins, she thinks as her eyes cross), and somehow things have fallen into place. To have allowed myself the indulgence of diving into a creative community has helped me learn more about being an artist and made me realize on a deeper level that it’s not an indulgence to make time to create.  It is part of nurturing the soul in a world where nurturing is not common.  A soul needs nurturing to thrive, I tell you. I’m grateful for the support I feel from you, friends, online and face to face.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Miss Grumpy Pants

This week I have endured a lot of crying. But toward the end of the week I found some good medicine…
Miss Grumpy-Pants, time to take your medicine! (There, that's better.)
 
Directions: both mother and child, take by the spoonful, as needed.  Wait for a few minutes, then jump on the bed together and have a quick tickle fight.




Friday, March 23, 2012

This week I...

Hello, sun in my face.

Enjoyed the summer weather.


Did a lot of gardening.

Woolly ball of nesty goodness

Freaked out a little but about ticks.

Sprayed a lot of bug spray.

Went to the park, either two or three times. I can’t remember.

Rode bikes several times and hauled two babies in back of me once.

Took several walks/runs.

Sunday

Went to a knitting group at my library.

Listened to two and a half audio books.

Drove my family crazy because I couldn’t hear them while I was listening to my books.

Played some fun games with my 8-11 year old girls at church.

Stressed out about all the millions of things I have to do.

Took lots of Advil because my shoulder hurts so bad.

Canceled my doctor appointments and ignored all the tests I’m supposed to be doing so that I can prove that all those things are not what is wrong with me so I can go to an infectious disease doctor who may or may not be able to help me.

Went to visit my friend.

Stream

Had a lot of desires heat up inside me that have no way of being set free to burn bright. Yet.

Failed to mail my mom’s birthday box. (and valentine box<--I have a problem)

Cleaned out my barn studio.

Jumped on my bed with my 3 year olds.

The last hour







Tuesday, March 13, 2012

white sand, blue water

De sea.

We went to Grand Cayman over winter break.  It took a lot of organizing and at the last minute I decided I didn't have room/muscle to carry on my nice camera.  As soon as I walked to the front door of our home for the week, I regretted it.  There was so much color and depth that I knew I wouldn't be able to try and get with my iPhone camera.  There were occasional moments of regret about it through the week, but for the most part, I just tried to focus on being there in the moment and soaking it all in.

These are some of the pictures I took and posted on instagram...

Swim time

We arrived and were met by our concierge who gave us keys and a tour.  The adults were still getting organized, but not five minutes after we walked in the front door I heard splashes and squeals.  I looked out the back door and the kids were already swimming; I took this picture (above).  Their travel clothes had been stripped and flung hither and thither.

Sweet ride.

We wouldn't have had a trip at all, were it not for my loving dad.  He, who I recently learned has the love language of quality time, spoiled us rotten.  He insisted on cooking and cleaning all our meals, too.

Local wildlife. (grand cayman)

Local wildlife: chicken and iguanas.  They were everywhere!  Kind of like crows and squirrels where I live.

Choosing favorites

We had use of all the Ritz Carlton amenities.  So every day, we hopped on our golf carts and made a happy little trip to the big pools and the beach.  To get there, we walked through this long hallway, filled with art, that passed over the cars below. (When I told the kids we were walking over a busy street toward the end of the week, they couldn't believe it!) We enjoyed choosing favorites, which changed throughout the week.  I have to say that the art that captured most of our attention and adoration were the sculptures by Avril Ward.  (click here to see some of her delightful and inspiring sculptures)

Lunch by the pool.
lunch by the pool

Chasing a baby iguana
chasing a baby iguana

Twirl
She's got a good eye for souvenirs. (that cute dress came from a craft fair down the street.)

::..,

Feeling blessed and lucky

As I was driving my golf cart back after some time at the spa, the sun was setting and I was overcome by how blessed and lucky I am.  Questions filled my head.  Then answers came quietly, along with the desire to help people I come into contact with know that they are seen and heard. That they matter and are important enough to feel blessed and lucky, too.

I'm on a horse.

I'm on a horse.

Shaddow



Monday, March 12, 2012

lacking

A while back, I told my seven year old to document a family birthday party with her Instax. Later, I saw a pile of little pictures. It was adorable. But I had to have a little chat with her about privacy. (That’s saying something since I seem to have an obvious lack of the sense of privacy myself.)
on the potty
I know that there has been an obvious lack of something else around here. (That would be me, writing on my blog.) I’ve been trying to decide whether to even address it or not. But I’ll just keep it really simple: The third year in the life of a mother of twins is harder than the first year in my humble opinion. Who knew? Maybe the other twin moms? I understand not wanting to scare the new twin moms, but there you have it. Maybe if you expect it, it won’t be quite so hard.

Anyway, my inclination is that I really want to write everything down that I haven’t had time to. But that just stops me in my tracks because it’s too grand a task for one like me.

So let’s just pretend that we’re all caught up, shall we?

I’ve missed you, friends!

Monday, January 30, 2012

14 things I learned in New York this weekend and 6 things I already knew

NYC morning

1. SCBWI is a really hard name to say or spell or explain. And it’s really long, too. But it’s something one just learns to accept.

2. When attending a weekend conference, one does not have enough time to explore.

Good morning, New York.

3. I don’t feel bad when ice skating in Rockefeller center my arms whip up and back as I fall, poking a girl in the eye. It is obviously a service on the sly since it allows her to milk it for all its worth as she and her beau and stand in the middle of the ice with people gliding around and round as they have a romantic moment, twinkle lights and flags of the world and sky scrapers encircling them on the starry night.

Rockefeller center

4. It’s worth it to be spontaneous.

5. It is worth it to treat yourself to a good breakfast.

It's important to treat yourself to a good breakfast.

6. Having a horrible sense of direction in a city equals lots of exercise. (Wear shoes that fit, Britt.)

7. I feel no guilt when it comes to taking advantage of having bakeries at every corner. (Especially coupled with my aforementioned sense of direction.)

8. I didn’t get the stomach bug after taking care of puking kids all week = miracles are still happening in the world.

What!?

9. Less is more when it comes to carrying stuff around in the city.

10. Sometimes you need to do something just because it sounds like a good idea.

11. I do feel bad when I’m running for a bus in China town on what happens to be the Chinese new year and my suitcase runs over a mom’s toe and as she stops to rub her toe with one hand and holds her child’s hand with the other, all I can do is turn and say, “I’m sorry!!” wishing I new how to say it in Chinese then turn back to keep on running.

12. My 12 year old is a great babysitter.

13. People can be really inspiring.  (Well, I already knew that.)

I was inspired by his talk

14. When I stop and look straight up to the top of a building, the clouds move so fast compared to the grounded and still building and it makes me dizzy.  Almost dizzy enough to fall over right in front of the speeding taxis and the carts full of warm, sweet nuts.

I looked up and the clouds seemed to be whirling past so fast that it made me dizzy I almost fell over right there with the cabs warm nuts.


6 things I re-learned upon my arrival home

1. I love my family. Love and adore.

2. I need a new mattress. Badly.

3. I’m really allergic to cats.

4. I love books.

5. Having great girlfriends is so important! Thanks, Kirsti, for such a great weekend.

6. I am really thankful for a patient and supportive husband who happens to be a great dad, too. Thanks for knowing what I need and giving it to me, babe.








Monday, January 23, 2012

you turned three!

Dear Ones,

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You are precious. I cried like 20 times today because you are driving me insane. But I still think you are precious, and I’m going to focus on that right now, and nothing else because I want to live a long and healthy life, not one in the loony bin. I’m going to focus on that because I want to feel love and joy and happiness and have lots of the good stuff in my memory bank.

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Eden, you tell me that you love me about 78 times a day. You say it when you are happy and when you are sad. You say it when you are tired or when you have to go to the bathroom. But I don’t mind. Every time you say, “Mommy. I love you,” I say it right back. Because I do.

Last week at church I told you how the primary children were singing about Adam, the prophet, and how he lived in the Garden of Eden with Eve. Later you were so excited to tell your big brother and sisters! You said, “Adam and Eve and and and they lived…in the Garden…of ME!!!” I can’t stand your cuteness, you’re killing me.

You are so clever. Such a smart girl. And you love it when I have you repeat that; you say it with such joy and enthusiasm, you look as if you might burst: “I am smaaaart. I am beautiful. I am impoe-tant. I am looooooved. I am kind. I am divine…” You have really started to belt out the songs. You love music and sing constantly. You have quite a repertoire of songs stashed in that noggin. When you catch glimpse of yourself in the rear-view mirror of the car, you say, “Look, I have loooong hair.” It’s quite an accomplishment. When your sister gets shy meeting new people, you always smile and introduce her by her full, formal name.

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My Jane-y Pot Pie. You have taken to nuzzling lately. You made up your own perfect word to go with it. You work your way into my body and say, “mommy, you so comfity.” As in comfort-y. It’s the sweetest thing.

You are thoughtful and sensitive and girly. You want to look pretty every day, and by pretty I mean that you want to wear a dress so you can dance. (Imagine dancing without a dress on…nope. You can’t do it; no dancing in pants.) Your favorite is Cannon in D and you ask for it by name, daily. Classical music calms you. You are protective of your sister and will do what you think you can to help her out when she is sad or upset. Even when she is in trouble and we are taking her to time out, you say, “Be nice to my sister.” You love her. You are very good at pretending. You take it seriously and even your older brother and sisters can’t help but join in, whether you are “shopping” or “sleeping.” Whether you are a princess or a baby or a mommy or a dog, we have no choice but to believe you.

Moon watching out their window.

You’ve been here with me for three years now. But I know that you have always been mine, and I yours, whether I remember it or not; we have always been family. You are part of me and it goes so deep that I know that you always have been part of me and you always will be. Even after we leave the earth at our individual moments, we will still be bound together forever. I can sense that bond with you girls and it is intense and steadfast. I wish there were better and more powerful words but for now all I can tell you is this: I love you completely, wholly and deeply. I love you like mad.

Always,
me

Tuesday, January 17, 2012



So very much has been going on around here. I find it hard to keep up and even harder coming here and writing it all down! There have been struggles and challenges and blessings and growth. Trips to the hospital, a funeral, family gatherings, birthdays…the ins and outs of a full life. And through it all I feel blessed. There are a lot of things that I have been thinking about that I will have to keep close to my heart for now. I don’t have time or energy, but here are a few tidbits for you…




As it came time to register for Squam Art Workshops (which I did!), Kelli contacted me about her story, which I was a part of and had totally forgotten about. It is a Squam story about never quite making it to Squam and how the feelings of Squam reached her anyway. It is a testament to the power of women and the good we can do for each other.  (And a testament about how awesome Elizabeth, director of SAW, is.) I like learning how she was taken care of by strangers reaching out. It is a good story, read it here.

Never ending girliness this week;)

Speaking of women and nurturing, my friend Vanessa asked me to participate in her series, Making Friends as a Grown Woman. It is an interesting topic and one I enjoyed pondering. Read some of my thoughts about my experience with friendships in social media and face-to-face friendships here.

Dance

Friday, January 13, 2012

pink


pink polkadot pjs
pink polka-dot pjs

Recently I thought of something that happened when I was probably 12 or so. (Now that I have a 12-year-old, I naturally think back a little more. I definitely felt older than she is.)

My family was in the car on our way home from somewhere and the conversation led to a coat of my mother’s. I said something like, “You should wear your pink coat.” I was referring to a ski coat that she had recently purchased and she said, “I don’t have a pink coat.” I tried to explain the coat and she said, “Oh. That’s not pink, it’s salmon.”

What? I didn’t know what she was talking about. Salmon? I thought this coat was really cute and I had paid extra attention. It was pink.

So for most of the ride home, back and forth we went.

Pink.

Salmon.

Pink.

Salmon.

When we arrived, the family dispersed in different directions, but both of us walked straight to the coat closet. I remember it very clearly. It was dusk, so the light was getting dim and we had mauve tile in the entryway (which could also be considered pink. A pink that I didn’t care for very much, if you must know.) I grabbed the doorknob and she reached into the closet and grabbed the coat. She held it out and we looked at it and with looks of triumph on our faces we both exclaimed at the same time, “SEE?!?”

What? How could we both be right?

I said, “It’s pink!”

She said, “It’s salmon!”

I looked away from the coat and into her face. It dawned on me that neither of us was wrong.



So, tell me what is the thought that just came to you? I’m interested in the different lessons we can learn from this story. You wanna write it in the comments? I love that a million different points could be made from one story.

Friday, January 6, 2012

grateful friday {AKA: an attempt to keep from going insane}

L. O. V. E.

I am thankful that I have this guy to make me smile and help me feel warm and comforted.


 

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

december views

Behind me I heard little voices:

Behind me I heard little voices: "I love you, Princess."  "I love you, too, Ladybug." So I stopped what I was doing to take a picture.

Last minute

snow man
She loved her play dough snow man.  She put a little face on it with a marker and then when I told her to show it to me so I could take a picture, she said, "No, I want to look at it like this."  And then she just sat there.  So I clarified, "You want me to take a picture of you looking at your snowman?" "Yep."  So I did.

her little tree
Her little tree.  She's very proud.  My favorite part is the clown nose that is being used as an ornament.


his retired work clothes
His retired work clothes.

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Disguised
Disguised for an activity at the mall.  This cracks me up every time I look at it;)

Clementine
She can peel a clementine in one long stringy thing.

A secret love note
This is my oldest daughter's: a vintage compact.  She found it at an antique store a while back and loves that it has a secret compartment.  I hid a secret love note in it.  Someday she will find it right when she needs it, I am sure. (Because Father blesses us like that--little stuff right when we need it.)

Big cookie
Jake brought home this big tupperware that held cookies in it from work.  This little munchkin fell in love with it.  After hanging out with him all day, she said on the way to bed, "Mommy, I want to sleep with my cookie.  I love that cookie."

The letter E

Home made play dough
Home made play dough.

Through the windshield
Through the windshield.

Moo-stash

Merry Christmas, friends!  And happy all the other stuff that's going on, too.

xx